


I Really Want To Love You

by Bladam_Shevine



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Blake Shelton (Musician), The Voice (US) RPF, The Voice RPF
Genre: Hurt Adam, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Shevine, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-01-26 06:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1678415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bladam_Shevine/pseuds/Bladam_Shevine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam loves Blake, but he knows that it will be a forever one-sided crush. What will he go through until Blake realizes his love for Adam as well?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have this story posted on my Wattpad account, but decided to post it here as well. I am not a professional writer so there may be grammatical errors. Disclaimer: Don't own "The Voice", or any of the people on the show, obviously. This chapter is kind of short, because I was just starting out with an idea that popped into my mind, later chapters will be longer. Enjoy!

“Adam! There you are! I’ve been looking all over the place for you!”

  _Please don’t come over here._ Adam thought. _Please I don’t think I’ll be able to take it. I know we can’t be together, just leave me alone._

“Adam? Everything okay?” Asked Blake.

 Adam looked around the room. Everyone was congratulating each other on making it to the finals. Some were consoling Shakira on her loss as well as the other top five finalists who didn’t make it.

 “Adam?”

  _Shit. I completely forgot he was still here._

“I’m sorry, what?” Adam questioned.

 “I asked if you were okay. You didn’t respond.” Blake answered.

 “Yeah, yeah I’m fine… amazing actually; Christina is going to the finals! I have a chance at winning this thing!”

 “Well, you just look out of a sort, that’s all.”

 “I do have a bit of a headache… it’s been a long day.”

 “Want to come to my place later for a beer?”

  _No… No… No I don’t! Don’t you understand? I love you! Being with you makes it worse! I know we can’t be together, but I want you so bad!_

“I… uh… sorry. I have something to look after tonight… Real sorry about that.” Adam struggled to say this while moving backwards slowly. Unfortunately he didn’t notice the electrical cord on the ground, causing him to trip and fall right over.

 Hundreds of faces turned to stare.

 Then the laughter began.

 Even Blake was laughing.

  _Blake was laughing at me._

 Adam got up and dusted himself off, trying to play it off as if nothing happened.

 Blake walked over to him again.

 “Are you sure you’re alright?”

 Adam looked at him. He wanted to tell him so bad that he loved him. He wanted him. He wanted them to be together. But every time they’re together Adam embarrasses himself in someway. Blake would never love him.

  _I’m such a fool._

“Haha don’t worry, nobody will remember it tomorrow.”

"S _hit. I said that out loud. Got to be more careful._

“Look, I’m going to head out now, want to pick a really good song for Christina next week… But I’ll see you later.”

 Adam hurried out of the tailgate as Blake's shouted words lingered in his mind, “The drink offer is still open for tonight if you change your mind!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you like it :) Constructive Criticism only please, no hate!


	2. Chapter 2

"Y'know what? I kinda like blonde Adam better than brunette Adam.." Blake slurred.

Adam had taken Blake's offer on having a drink. Blake apparently had one too many.

Adam watched in amusement as Blake rambled on and on about the perfection of his new look. After the tailgate Adam went home and sat with his phone in hand for nearly an hour contemplating whether he should give Blake a call or not.

As much as Adam loved spending time with Blake, it also brought him great distress. His hands would sweat, his breathing would become shallow, on the verge of a near panic attack. It was stupid really. He gave himself all this unwanted anxiety because his brain went into never ending cycles of thinking about the drawbacks of admitting his love.

"Y'know what we should do right now? Y'know what we should do? Like we shouldn't even tell anyone we're just so gonna do it..." Blake rambled, not making any sense.

"What should we do Blake?" Asked Adam, who was still half way through his first beer and not even buzzed yet.

"We should just... We should, uh, dye my hair blonde. Let's do it."

"Blake. I think you've had enough."

"No seriously Adam, look at me, let's do it. C'mon."

Adam attempted to snatch the beer settled in Blake's hand and froze as he felt Blake seize his wrist.

"Your hand is so soft Adam..."

Adam's heart was going a mile a minute. He couldn't handle it.

_Blake Shelton is holding my hand._

His breathing sped up and his hand began to get clammy. Blake didn't seem to notice, or maybe he just didn't care.

Adam struggled to pull his wrist out of Blake's firm grasp. Blake was too drunk to realize any of Adam's distress signals.

When he finally got loose he made his way to the bathroom leaving Blake alone with his drunken thoughts.

Adam stared at himself in the mirror. His hands grasped the sides of the sink firmly as he struggled to return his breathing to a normal rhythm.

_Oh God. I can't go back out there, I just can't. He's so perfect._

Adam finally calmed down and managed to think rationally.

_You have to go back out there. You can't just leave him there he'll begin to know something's up._

Adam took one deep breath and decided to make his way back into the living room. He couldn't believe his eyes when he walked in.

Blake was sound asleep in the chair he was sitting in when Adam left in a hurry. He shook his head and decided to leave a note for Blake to explain his absence when Blake woke up. He found a pen on a table in the center of the room. A convenient notepad was placed next to it. He began writing:

_Dear Shelton,_

_I lost count how many drinks you had after number four. I got up to take a leak, came back and you were out like a light. Decided to head home. See you tomorrow on set. You're going to have one wicked hangover._

_-Adam_

He smiled to himself as he folded the note and placed into Blake's hand. He grabbed his jacket and headed to the door.

"Goodnight Blake." He said to himself, closing the front door behind him.

                                                                

                                                                                   *****

_The next day_

 

"Hey man, how you doing?" Usher inquired as he noticed Adam walking towards his big red chair.

"Pretty good, yourself?"

"Fine, fine just wondering why you left in such a hurry yesterday?"

Adam paused, unsure of how to answer. "Oh uh... I got a bit of a stomach ache, I went home and rested up for today's filming."

Usher didn't answer as numerous hair and makeup artists were surrounding him trying to make him look perfect for the show.

There was still no sign of Shakira and Adam knew for a fact that Blake was going to be late. A couple of stylists came over to his chair and began to apply concealer and an excessive amount of hair gel. As they were working on him he saw Shakira enter through the corner of his eye. He gave her a half wave, which she returned with a smile.

'Hello boys." She greeted.

"Hello Shakira, I'm still so deeply sorry for your loss, but at the same time I am not sorry because it just gives me a better chance at winning." Usher laughed.

Shakira rolled her eyes and gave him a playful slap on the arm. "Kristen was great, I'm not worried for her, I am positive that a successful talent agent is going to pick her up and get her signed."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Usher joked back.

Blake stumbled in just as the teasing was coming to an end. Adam adjusted himself in his chair.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up." Adam said to the clearly hung-over man.

Blake made a very obscure gesture to Adam and made his way to his chair.

"Did you get my note?"

"Mmm-hmm" Blake responded, rubbing his head.

Adam laughed at Blake's misery. The poor guy having to come in on a hangover with blaring music and flashing lights. 

_At least he was too drunk to notice my little panic attack._

Carson stepped in at that moment saving Adam from the memory. "Are you guys ready for tonight?" He asked the four coaches.

Adam and Usher fist pumped the air to show their excitement. Blake just gave a half smile.

"Woah, I could tell that someone's in a mood." Carson pointed out, acknowledging Blake.

"Can we please just try to keep the music down?" Blake asked.

Adam chuckled.

 _Hopefully today's events won't end like last night's._  


	3. Chapter 3

The Voice filming went great. Jake, Josh and Christina are all perfection to say the least.

Especially Christina.

Adam knew deep down that he was going to win this whole thing with her. Jake and Josh were great singers, of course, but there was something about Christina's voice and the power in it that made Adam positive this was his season to win.

Throughout the show he was able to keep his mind off Blake for the most part. There were times when he felt his heart rate escalate a bit, notably when he laid eyes on the country star, but he managed to keep his cool.

After the show Usher had invited a bunch of people to his house for an after party. Blake had refused of course, due to his still lingering hangover. Adam politely declined claiming that he was developing a headache and needed to rest up for tomorrow's finale.

He headed out to his car and put his keys into the ignition. Backing out of the parking space, Adam attempted to clear his mind in order to have a peaceful, comfortable drive home. It wasn't a long drive, about twenty minutes, but twenty minutes can feel like forever when troubling thoughts are clouding your mind.

He decided to turn on the radio. Turning up the volume, his heart stopped when he recognized the familiar country tune.

Over You

It was Miranda... And Blake... Singing... Together.

Adam felt his heart rate speed up. His breathing becoming rapid.

Hands on the wheel, calm down, you need to focus on driving before you get in an accident.

He quickly shut the radio off and tried to keep his eyes on the road.

I can't go on like this anymore. Blake is making me lose my mind! I'm going to end up killing myself before-

He slammed on the breaks and swerved off the road in a matter of seconds.

He hadn't noticed the deer run out into the middle of the road because of his overwhelming thoughts. He had only missed hitting it by a millisecond. His car, however was not so lucky. Swerving out of the way had caused him to run right into a tree. Hard.

Adam sat there in shock still trying to register what had just happened. His breathing was still going way too fast, as was his heart. He looked up into the mirror when he saw a truck stop behind him. The headlights were blinding for a moment and then he realized that the automobile was very familiar looking.

He saw the tall figure approaching his car. He tried to unbuckle his seatbelt and get out to tell whoever it was that was approaching that he was fine and not to call an ambulance. But he couldn't move. He was paralyzed, still in shock.

His vision was fading in and out and the sudden knocking on his windshield seemed like a mile away. When his car door was forced open he couldn't turn his head to see who was there, he could only vaguely hear the familiar country accent.

"Holy crap... Adam?"

Adam attempted to say something, but instead let out a load groan. He was in worse pain than he originally thought.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Blake was still talking, but Adam wasn't listening.

"Hey, can you hear me?" He felt a big hand lightly slap his cheek to get him to focus.

He finally found it in him to turn and face the taller man.

"B-Blake?"

"Yeah. What happened? I was driving home and I saw your car on the side of the road... Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"N-No I'm fine, just a little bit in shock."

"I would say so. You're sweating like a pig."

"Thanks. Thanks Blake."

"No seriously. And you're breathing really heavy. Should I take you to a hospital?"

"No! No please don't. I hate hospitals, really I'm fine."

"Alright. If you're sure. But, how about your car? It's pretty totaled."

Adam heaved a sigh. "I guess I'm going to call a tow truck and then a cab."

Blake interjected. "No, you're going to call a tow truck and then I'm going to drive you to my place. You're not in any shape to stay by yourself tonight."

Adam tried hard to protest, but had to eventually give up.

"Perfect. Just perfect." Adam thought in a sarcastic tone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a little short :P Been kind of busy sorry.

The drive home had felt sufficiently awkward for Adam. Thankfully Blake didn't seem to notice how tense he was. Blake rambled about Jake Worthington and a bunch of country vocabulary Adam didn't understand throughout the whole ride.

It seemed like forever until they finally pulled into Blake's driveway. "Well here we are." Blake said while exiting the truck.

 _And here we go._ Adam took a deep breath and made his way outside of the car as well. He followed Blake up the path towards his house. He vaguely heard him say that Miranda was gone for the week much to Adam's pleasure. Having a third party witness his emotional state of love would just be the cherry on top of this horrible night.

"I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable." Blake stated, gesturing towards the living room. Blake made his way down the hall and Adam took a seat on one of the massive sofas. His head was killing him from the accident earlier. Everything just went so fast. His poor car was totaled beyond repair and all because of a stupid song triggering a stupid anxiety attack. He put his head between his legs hoping to help ease his breathing and calm him down.

_Get yourself together._

He heard heavy footsteps coming back towards the room. "I brought you some Tylenol, thought you might be in pain-" Blake paused, obviously noticing the position Adam was in.

"Are you alright?"

Adam looked up at him, blinking away the light. "Yeah, just think I got some bad whiplash."

Blake walked over, placing the two caplets in the palm of his hand. "Take these. It'll help."

Adam froze as he felt Blake's hand against his own again. He quickly shook it off and downed the two pills along with a glass of water Blake had provided for him.

"Uh, I made up the guest room for you. You'll need a good night's sleep and trust me that bed is comfier than mine."

"Thanks Blake, but I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight. I'm kind of still in shock about the whole accident."

"Understandable. But, uh, at least try?" Blake was looking at him with puppy dog eyes. He was clearly worried about him.

"Trust me, I will."

"Alright. Well I'll leave you alone. The guest room is straight down the hall, last door on the left. Night."

"Night." Adam muttered out watching Blake head out.

He waited until he heard the bedroom door shut closed and then broke down in tears.

_Why am I such a failure? I'm in love with a married man! I need to let it go, but I just can't! I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me crazy. I nearly killed myself tonight thinking about him!_

Adam was so busy crying and hyperventilating that he hadn't even noticed that Blake made his way back out to the living room.

"Adam, what's going on?" Blake said, seriously.

Adam looked up, startled,  like a deer caught in the headlights of a moving car. Adam wiped away the tears with the back of his hand and tried to give a slight smile. "I told you, it's just I'm really in shock about what happened. It's silly."

Blake walked over and sat right next to Adam, who's heart skipped a beat. What Adam was not expecting was for Blake to suddenly wrap his big, strong arms around him.

"I know that's not all that's bothering you... But I'll find out how to help whatever this is. Trust me."

Adam nearly stopped breathing. This felt so nice. He never wanted to break free from Blake's arms.

Blake patted him on the back and pulled away. "Try to forget about whatever's bothering you. We have a big day tomorrow."

And with that Blake headed to bed, for good this time. Adam smiled as he kept the memory of that warm hug. A memory he won't forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued... :)


	5. Chapter 5

Adam woke up, startled since he was in an unfamiliar place. When he remembered exactly where he was and the events of the night before he mentally kicked himself for being so stupid.

Blake saw me cry over him last night.

Of course Blake didn't know that Adam was crying over Blake, but the fact that the attractive country star had seen him cry at all drove him insane. And now Blake was going to be watching over him like a hawk until he found out the reason why Adam was crying last night.

Shit. Things are going to be awkward between us now.

Adam just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He knew he was overreacting a bit, Blake was just worried about him after all. But, last night came way too close to Blake finding out about his secret crush. Damn. He really needed to be careful from now on. Act like nothing is wrong, like everything is just fine and dandy.

Basically... Adam had to live a lie.

After several minutes of moping around Adam decided to get up. He could hear that Blake was already up and it smelt as if he was cooking bacon and eggs. He headed towards the kitchen area.

"Morning." Adam greeted, taking a seat at Blake's kitchen table.

''Mornin', sleepyhead.'' Blake said, without turning away from the stove.

Adam looked at the clock and realized it was almost eleven. This was surprising because he was always an early bird ever since he was a kid. It drove his mother crazy when he got up before the sun was even beginning to rise.

''Wow, I better get a move on.'' Adam stated.

It was a big night tonight. Adam, Blake and Usher were all anticipating that their artist would claim victory. Adam was praying hard that Christina would win, but knew that even if she came in second or third she would still become famous nonetheless.

Blake placed a hot plate of breakfast in front of him along with a mug of coffee.

''Two milks, no sugar. Exactly the way you like it.'' Blake smiled at him.

That smile. And the way his bright blue eyes light up when he smiles...

''Thanks.'' Adam smiled back. He grabbed the coffee and took a sip.

Blake sat next to him and began eating. Adam could feel the tension in the room. He knew Blake wanted to say something about last night, but thankfully he didn't. They ate in silence for what seemed like hours.

 

***

 

It wasn't long after breakfast until Blake and Adam had to start getting ready and head out to the studio. It was a little awkward, but for the most part everything went smoothly.

The ride out to the studio was filled with small-talk about the weather and the different contestants throughout the season.

Adam was relieved when Blake finally pulled his truck into the parking garage underneath the studio. They both got out and began heading towards the entrance, when Blake paused.

''Uh, listen Adam, I just need to say something.''

Oh God. Not now Blake. Please not now.

To Adam's surprise all Blake did was stick out his hand. Adam stared at it, unsure of what to do.

''Good luck, buddy.''

Adam took Blake's hand with his own and shook it.

''Good luck to you too. You're going to need it.'' Adam joked.

Blake let out his booming laugh and patted Adam on the back as they made their way inside.

 

***

 

''The finalist in third place is... Christina Grimmie! Big hand for Christina Grimmie everyone!'' Carson announced to the crowd.

''Damn. There goes my chance at winning.'' Thought Adam.

He looked over at Blake, generally curious as to whether he was going to be this season's champion once again, or if Usher would take the crown and leave with a bang.

Blake's hands were folded together and he looked extremely nervous. Jake was like his little brother and he knew how bad he wanted him to win.

''That leaves Jake Worthington and Josh Kaufman. One of you is the Voice. Let's find out who it is.'' Carson announced once again, as the audience and all four coaches held their breath.

''The winner of the voice is... Josh Kaufman!''

Adam watched Usher through his head back cheering. Clapping and shouting erupted from the audience.

Blake looked visibly upset, as was Adam. Josh was a great singer, but it would've been more rewarding for Adam to see Christina win.

''Congratulations on third, Adam.'' Shakira said, walking up to him.

''Thanks, Shak.''

''Are you going to the after party?'' She asked, curious.

''Yeah, yeah I think I am.'' Adam said, still looking over at Blake.

This didn't go unnoticed. ''Poor Blake, he's really down about Jake. Maybe you can cheer him up at the party.''

''Why me?'' Adam questioned, concerned as to why Shakira would ask this of him.

''Oh, I just figured since you two are best friends, and you both have such amazing chemistry...'' She said this while walking away towards Usher to congratulate him.

_We do have amazing chemistry don't we? No. Stop it Adam. Nothing is going to happen at this party and you know it. Just go have fun and get your mind off of him for once._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update! And it's a little short sorry, I've been really busy with exams and everything. Ugh. School.

Everyone was celebrating.

Alcohol was spilling everywhere, confetti was all over the ground and the music was blaring. Everyone was there, contestants, celebrities, the production crew. It was packed. Thankfully Usher's house was huge and had plenty of space for those who wanted to dance around and party, and those who just wanted to sit and enjoy their drink, like Adam.

Adam was finishing off his second beer. He watched Shakira dance around with Usher, and to his surprise even Carson had a few moves in him. Adam laughed at his failed attempt of twerking. He was having such a good time for the first time in what seemed like years. Blake hadn't shown up yet. He announced earlier that he would be fashionably late, much to Adam's pleasure. 

Seemingly tired out, Carson made his way over and sat next to Adam. ''Man, those two are in good shape!'' He exclaimed.

Adam laughed. ''They're both professional dancers, Carson, so yeah I would assume so.''

Carson smiled. ''Usher's so proud of himself. He's bragging about how he left his mark on this show and no one's ever going to forget him as the winning coach of season six.''

''He's so full of himself.''

Carson laughed. ''Yeah he is, but you are too. I remember you saying earlier this season that if America saved Christina with their Twitter votes that she would win this whole thing.''

''Yeah, I did say that... But in all honesty I don't think she cares that she lost, she's just happy to have gained the experience.''

Their conversation was interrupted when people started cheering at a new celebrity arrival.

Adam tried to look over the crowd to see who it was. He caught a glimpse of Blake's tall figure, but noticed he wasn't alone.

Who is that with him?

When a couple of people moved out of the way Adam could finally see who was standing with their arm wrapped around Blake.

Miranda.

Adam's heart stopped. Seeing the two of them together was making him sick. He was panicking again for what seemed like the hundredth time this week.

He backed up a little almost tripping over the chair he had been previously sitting in.

''Hey, watch it! I think you've had too much to drink!'' Carson yelled, jokingly.

But Adam was in no joking mood.

He seriously couldn't breathe. Carson must have noticed Adam's dilemma, as he stood up right away trying to soothe him. ''Hey, hey what's going on? Talk to me.''

Adam wanted to answer, but couldn't. His throat felt like it was going to close up. He looked at Carson with wide, panicked eyes. Carson was mouthing something, but Adam couldn't hear because of the ringing in his ears.

Don't make a scene Adam, calm down.

It was too late. He had already made a scene. A couple of faces turned to stare at him. Shakira and Usher came over to see if he was okay.

''Adam, what's wrong?'' He heard one of them say.

He couldn't tell who was who anymore. His brain was foggy and black spots were filling his vision.

Before he knew it he felt his head hit the ground hard.

He heard a few screams and he heard someone curse.

He vaguely heard someone screaming to call for an ambulance.

Before his mind settled into unconsciousness, he swear he could feel a familiar pair of warm, strong hands trying to shake him awake.


	7. Chapter 7

Adam woke up in a dimly lit room.

Opening his eyes just a crack, he realized that all four walls were painted a pale shade of green and the room smelt of cleaning products. He looked down and saw an IV tube inserted into his arm, allowing medication to flow through his blood stream. He tried not to think about it, the thought of blood made him queasy.

He took a deep breath and realized there was something plastered to his face. He reached up and felt the oxygen mask that was assisting him with breathing normally. Unsure of what was going on, Adam tried to remove the mask in a heap of panic.

"No, don't do that." He felt a hand slap his own hand away, forcing it to his side.

Adam thought he was alone, but looked up to see Usher sitting next to his hospital bed.

"Hey man, nice to see you awake." Usher greeted.

Adam just gave a slight wave in acknowledgement to show that he heard him. The mask was constricting his ability to speak.

"Dude. You scared the hell out of a lot of people. Everyone is talking about what happened... It's even been leaked to the press already."

Oh God Usher, why are you telling me this? Can't you see I'm not in the mood?

"Everyone was saying you had like a asthma attack or something, you almost stopped breathing! I didn't even know you had asthma..."

Asthma attack? Well that was better than people finding out I had a panic attack.

"You were asking for Blake in your sleep earlier, do you want me to go get him?"

Shit. What? 

"I'll just go get him, seeing that you're just staring at me with a blank expression... He's really worried about you."

And with that Usher left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him. Adam wanted to scream at him to come back, but it was too late.

Not even a minute later Blake came rushing in.

"Adam! Thank God you're awake!" Adam recognized the familiar southern drawl immediately. "I was so worried!"

Adam was unsure of what to say to him. Should he just go along with the whole "asthma attack" story? Adam managed to remove his oxygen mask for a moment in order to acknowledge Blake.

"I'm really sorry I ruined the party."

"Adam no! You didn't ruin anything! We were all incredibly worried about you, and we're just glad you're ok!" Blake moved closer to be by Adam's side.

Adam wanted to scream at Blake to get away and leave him alone. Blake was the one causing him all of this trouble. But, at the same time he longed for Blake's existence and for them to be together at all times. Blake was like a secret remedy to keeping Adam alive. He realized that he couldn't hold it in any longer. Taking a deep breath he once again removed the oxygen mask that was currently the only thing entrapping him from saying the following words:

"I love you, Blake."

Adam regretted it the moment he said it. Blake looked at him with utter confusion.

"What?"

The heart monitor was going wild.

Take it back Adam! Take it back! Say you were joking!

"I-I love you." A completely opposite sentence came from his lips than the thoughts that spun from his mind.

Blake was just staring back at him in disbelief. Finally he said something that made Adam's heart sink, "How much drugs did they give you?"

"Blake! I'm serious! I love you! I'm not high!" Adam was pleading with Blake to accept his feelings. Adam didn't want to regret letting the truth slip out... He didn't want to feel ashamed with himself anymore.

"Why are you tellin' me this? You know I'm married!"

"Blake... I'm sorry, I-I just couldn't live with myself. Every time I saw you, or even thought about you I would just lose my mind! And I don't care if you feel the same way, I just needed to get everything off my chest and-"

Adam's rambling was cut off by a quick, yet satisfying kiss.

"I wish you would have told me sooner."

Adam was taken aback. "What?"

"I've felt the same way for a while now, and especially now seeing you so vulnerable in this hospital bed... I've just never felt so in love with you."

"But... You just said you're married! What about Miranda? Don't you love her?"

Blake sighed. "Of course I love Miranda, just lately I haven't been able to feel the same way about her as I do about you."

"Blake..."

The passionate conversation was cut off by the sudden sound of a door slamming open.

"Oh Adam! Mi cariño! I was so worried!" Shakira came running in and hugged him tight. Adam returned the action, but kept looking over her shoulder into Blake's eyes.

"I'll leave you two alone, we'll talk later Adam."

Blake waved goodbye and Adam watched him head out the door.

This has to be the best thing that ever happened to me.


	8. Chapter 8

It was early the next morning that Adam was allowed to leave the hospital, much to his relief. The rest of his night was filled with visitations from Shakira, Usher, Carson and even the guys from Maroon5 payed him a visit. Yet, Blake never returned after their intimate moment that they shared just last night.

As excited as he was to see Blake, he was awful extrememly nervous. Did Blake really mean what he said? Or was he playing with him? Blake is married afterall... Adam needed answers.

Shakira and Usher both came to pick him up. Adam signed all the necessary papers and then met them outside.

"How are you feeling, Adam?" Shakira asked, still seeming genuinely worried.

"Fine, great! A lot better than I did last night!" Adam answered quickly, his mind still focused around Blake.

"You sure about that?" Usher asked, suspeciously.

"Trust me, I feel fine." Adam said while opening the passenger door for himself. Shakira whispered something to Usher and then hopped in the back as Usher took the wheel.

"Where am I dropping you off, man?" Usher asked him, eyes focused on the road ahead of him.

_I really should go home, check messages, get clean clothes, but I'm dying to see Blake._

"Uh... Can you drop me off at Blake's?"

Shakira turned around in her seat. "Don't you want to go home and rest first?"

"No, I got plenty of rest during my hospital visit... And besides Blake texted me, he has some borrowed DVDs that he wants to return." Adam lied. He hated lying, but he needed to see Blake without Shakira and Usher finding out the true reason why.

"Alright then." Usher said.

The rest of the drive was silent except for Usher occasionally turning up the radio when a song he liked came on.

They pulled up to Blake's house about fifteen minutes later. "Do you want us to wait for you while you run in and get your DVDs?" Shakira asked.

"No!" Adam shouted, making them both jump.

"I mean, no, I don't know how long I'll be and I don't want to keep you waiting." Adam said in a much more calm voice.

"Alright man, see you." Usher said, obviously still suspecious of what Adam was up too.

Before Usher backed out of the driveway Shakira gently grabbed Adam's arm. "Adam..." She sighed, looking sad. Adam couldn't help but feel sympathy for whatever was causing her to feel this way.

"Yes?"

"Just, please, take care of yourself. I hate seeing people suffer." She gave him a half-smile as they pulled out.

Adam waved goodbye and watched the car head down the road. He turned around and began heading towards the front door of Blake's large house. He hesitated before ringing the doorbell.

_Ring it Adam, just ring it. Don't be scared. Nothing bad will happen._

Adam was wrong. The worst that could happen, did happen. A few moments after his finger made impact with the doorbell, Miranda answered.

"Miranda!" Adam exclaimed, utterly surprised.

"Adam? What are you doing here? Blake told me you were in the hospital..."

"Yeah, I was released today. I just came by to see Blake."

Miranda folded her arms and leaned against the door frame. She didn't look impressed.

"Blake's not home."

"Oh? Where is he?" Adam asked, curious.

"He's out. Why do you care so much?"

Something was up. Oh God... Did Miranda know?

"Uh, is everything ok?" Adam asked, trying to get answers.

"Yes, everything's fine."

_Lies._

Adam put his hands in his pockets and awkwardly took a step back.

"Well, if Blake's not home, I'll just come back later..."

"Don't bother, Adam. I'm not stupid, you know. I see the way you look at him... Lately I think I'm going crazy, because I see Blake returning the same look."

" _What?_ Miranda, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"As if." Miranda said, rolling her eyes.

Adam put his hands up defensively. "I assure you there is nothing going on between me and Blake."

_Yet._

Miranda unfolded her arms and put her hand to her forehead, as if she was trying to relieve a headache. "Adam, I don't want you talking to Blake until I get things sorted out with him. I don't mean to be rude, honestly, I'm just worried. Ok? Please, just leave us alone for a couple of days."

Miranda went to shut the door on Adam's face, then poked her head out. "Oh, and I hope you're feeling better." She said with little emotion, before slamming the large door.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! I've been really busy with final exams and all that school stuff. Now that it's Summer I am hoping to be able to update more on a regular basis. Enjoy! :)

Sitting at home in complete solitude was unbearingly boring for Adam. He tried putting on a movie, making something to eat and started working on a new song, but no matter what he did to keep occupied, his mind kept diverting itself back to the thought of Blake.

After many hours of attempting to keep busy, he finally decided to text Blake, just to see what was up. Grabbing his phone, he scrolled down to Blake's contact name and starting typing.

_Hey. I stopped by today, Miranda said you weren't home._

He clicked send, but quickly regretted it. Was it a bad idea to bring up Miranda?

Moments later he heard the familiar buzz of his phone. He opened up the text and saw that it was from Blake.

_I've been home all day..._

Adam was shocked, and angered. Did Miranda lie to him?  He felt his phone vibrate again, the text was once again from Blake.

_I'd really like to see you._

Adam's heart skipped a beat. With trembling fingers he responded:

_I would like to see you too, when should we meet?_

He barely could contain his excitement. He began biting his nails nervously when Blake was taking longer to respond.

He grabbed the phone immediately as it buzzed.

_Let's meet tonight. I'll come to your house okay? Miranda's been on my case lately._

Adam jumped up. _Blake was coming over._ He had to shower, he had to tidy up the place, he had to make everything perfect for Blake.

He texted back:

_Okay. See you soon._

He began running around frantically, trying to make his home as well as his self look presentable. He quickly showered, then pulled on a tight black t-shirt and a pair of his favourite jeans. He then collected odds and ends that were scattered around the house. When  everything looked good enough for his liking he began to prepare some refreshments for himself and Blake.

Just as he finished pouring two glasses of wine, he heard a knock on the door. Rushing to answer it, he opened it and found the six-foot-something country singer wearing his usual plaid attire, and jeans.

"Hey, come in." Adam greeted, heart still racing in excitement.

"Thanks."

Adam led Blake towards the living room and gestured for him to sit down and make himself comfortable.

Instead Blake came up from behind and wrapped his arms around Adam's waist.

"I've missed you so much."

Adam's breath hitched in his throat as Blake spun him around and pressed their lips together.

When they pulled apart Adam was in shock. He never thought his dreams would become reality, it was all too much.

"I uh... I have some wine... In the kitchen."

Blake took Adam by the hand. "Well let's get on that." He said, with a wink.

The couple made their way towards the kitchen, grabbed the glasses, then made their way back towards the living room. They sat on the large sofa, rather close to eachother.

Blake rubbed his temples. "I think Miranda knows about us, or at least suspects it."

Adam was surprised, "Why would you think that?"

Blake sighed. "She was watching some recordings of The Voice that I had on my TV, and she kept questioning on why we acted the way we do... Y'know, all intimate and stuff."

Adam smirked. "She'd be a good detective."

"I'm serious Adam. I don't know what to do. I love Miranda, I really do, but I love you too."

Adam leaned in to kiss Blake again, but was pushed away by his strong hands.

"Adam, I don't know if this will work out. I love you, don't get me wrong, it's just... I don't want to ruin my public image."

Adam felt the tears well up in his eyes.

"Blake..."

He tried to reach out for him as Blake stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't do this..." Blake kept repeating over and over.

Adam felt his heart rate speed up, and his breathing become shallow.

"Blake... I need you..."

The country star turned around to face Adam, and saw him panicking.

"Hey, hey! Calm down, it's alright." He sat down next to him and placed a comforting hand on the rock star's cheek.

Adam laid down so that hix head was in Blake's lap. Blake began absent mindingly rubbing his hand through Adam's hair.

"I hate seein' you like this."

"I need you, Blake."

"I need you too, Adam."

The two drifted off in that comfortable position, their last thoughts were of how they were going to make this relationship work.


	10. Chapter 10

Blake was the first to wake up, Adam still peacefully asleep beside him. The rock star's head was gently resting in the crevice of his forearm.

Looking out the window beside him he realized that the sun was brightly shining, causing him to wonder what time it was. He quickly grabbed his phone and checked the digital numbers present at the top of the screen.

_8:36 am._

Groaning, Blake tried to move away from Adam without waking him. He stepped out into the hallway to check the three missed calls that he must have recieved over night.

He opened the voicemail and placed the phone next to his ear.

_Blake, it's Miranda. Just wondering where you were. You said you'd be back by midnight... Call me back soon okay?_

He deleted the message and continued to listen to the second call.

_Clearly you are not interested in fixing our relationship. I try to talk to you, to make peace with you, and you go out all night. I'm leaving, Blake._

Blake was in shock. Anxiously he rushed to get to the third and final message.

_I'm going to go stay with my parents. Don't bother calling. We're done. Have fun with your new boyfriend._

Blake dropped the phone. He was on the verge of tears. He glanced over at Adam's still sleeping figure.

He felt mixed emotions. Confusion, anger, sadness. He loved Adam, but just lost Miranda, who he also loved deeply. Adam caused this.

Running his hand threw his wavy brown hair, Blake started panicking.

_Crap. Crap. Crap. This was bad. The press is going to find out... Miranda is going to tell everyone she knows... My career, Adam's career are both ruined..._

Blake stormed into the living room where Adam was still sound asleep and nudged him hardly in the shoulder. 

"My life is ruined because of you!" Blake screamed, a little bit more loudly than he had originally planned.

Adam's eyes shot open and he sat up in surprise.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Miranda knew about our relationship probably because YOU didn't have enough common sense to keep your big mouth shut!"

"Blake, calm down, let's talk..."

"And now nobody is going to respect me as a singer! Miranda is going to tell everyone she knows, and everybody will know about us!"

"Well, that might not necessarily be a bad thing, Blake."

Blake spun around to make direct eye contact with Adam at this, " _What?_ " His voice came out as cold and cunning.

"Well I mean, this is what we've always wanted... To be together, and now there's nothing stopping us."

"Adam, you seem to not understand that I LOVED Miranda... Maybe even more than I loved you. And I'm so sorry, what we had was great, but I need to go find her before she tells anyone. Maybe I can make it right with her." Blake turned to leave, but Adam was quick to his feet.

"Blake! Stop please!" Adam reached out to grab Blake's shoulder, but Blake spun around, allowing his fist to make contact with the rock star's face.

Adam staggered backwards as Blake stared in shock at the stream of blood making it's way out of Adam's nostril.

"Oh shoot... Adam..."

"Get away from me."

"Adam, I'm so sorry, lemme make sure you're okay..." Said Blake, taking a step forward.

Adam stepped farther back from the country singer. "Get out of my house Blake! You didn't want us to be together, so guess what? We are no longer together."

Blake's face suddenly dropped into a frown as he realized their relationship was finalized.  He began to walk towards the door, and with one final look at his former lover, he shut the door behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

Adam paced back and forth in the living room. He couldn't stop reliving the past few minutes of his life over and over again.

_Did I just ruin a perfect relationship?_

Adam reached a hand tentatively to his cheek and pulled it back to find a tear resting on the tip of his finger. Half of his mind wanted to run out the door and chase after Blake, but the other half was forcing him to stay. He was being held back from reaching out to the one he loved. He was back at square one.

Adam made his way towards the bathroom, his brain not fully functioning. If he was in a good state of mind right now he would never be even considering what he was about to do.

He reahed into the medicine cabinet and began pulling out every bottle of pills he could find. He shook out great quantities of Tylenol, numerous cold medications and basically anything he could find.

He began hyperventilating realizing what he was set on doing.

_He was going to kill himself._

If he couldn't have Blake, then life was not worth living.

Cupping the pills in his shaking hand, he got ready to swallow them down.

He nearly had the pills to his mouth when he felt a strong arm grab him from behind and sent the pills flying everywhere.

***

Blake sat in his car, hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel.

_Why is this happening? I shouldn't have freaked out like that... I should go apologize. Maybe Adam's right, maybe this isn't such a bad thing. Maybe Miranda leaving me is the perfect opening to publicize our relationship. I was never as happy with Miranda as I ever was with Adam._

_I love Adam._

_I can't live without him._

Realizing this, Blake got out of the car and half-jogged towards the house. He was overly excited to go share with Adam that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

Throwing open the door, the country-singer made his way down the hall searching for his lover.

"Adam!"

No answer.

"Adam! Come here! I need to talk to you!"

Still no answer.

Growing concerned, Blake made his way further down the hall. He saw a light shining through the slightly ajar bathroom door.

He knocked gently. "Adam?" He thought he heard crying. His heart began to pound. "Adam you okay? I-I'm coming in..."

And what he saw was nothing that he expected.

Adam was about to kill himself. Blake could tell by the empty bottles in the sink. "Adam no!"

He quickly reached for Adam's hand, that caused him to let go of the medication in his hand. The pills scattered the cold tile floor and Adam looked up at Blake in shock.

"I-I'm so s-sorry Blake..." Adam said between tears.

Blake wrapped Adam in a tight embrace.

"N-No Adam. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you. I've realized that I can't live without you-" Blake glanced at the pills covering the ground "-and apparently neither can you."

Blake pulled Adam into a kiss. A kiss that seemed to last forever.

Blake then took Adam by the hand and led him over to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

"Are you okay? Do I need to take you to a hospital?"

Adam frantically shook his head. "No hospitals. Please."

"Alright."

"Kiss me again, Blake."

Blake smiled and pushed his lips against Adam's. The feeling was nice and it sent butterflies to his stomach.

"I'm staying over again tonight." Blake stated, when the kiss ended.

"Good. I want you to." Said Adam.

Blake smiled and kissed Adam once more and was ecstatic to know that Adam was his. They were meant for eachother and nothing could change that. There was nothing Blake loved more than the feeling of Adam's lips against his own, Adam's hand intertwined in his own, or the feeling that Adam loved him back. It was something out of a fairy tail. The two needed eachother to live, and when they were together life was a whole lot more worth living.


End file.
